Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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