Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
