Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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