I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
