I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
