I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
