Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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