Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
