Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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