Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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