No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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