I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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