if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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