I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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