Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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