I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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