garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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