How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize