i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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