he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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