dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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