She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You ruined the universe
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
