i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
