that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
