Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
