I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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