And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
