i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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