Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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