New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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