why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
