you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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