Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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