1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize