Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize