You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
