we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
only you would photoshop your dick
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
