idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
