you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
