She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wear drunk well.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
