So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
