went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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