Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize