Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
