okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sobbing to NWA
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
