I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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