The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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