Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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