Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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