THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
