Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
