On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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