i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize