I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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