He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
