Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
