im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
