walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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