You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You were trust falling into bushes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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