I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
