THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
