If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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