You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The power of my boobs compel you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize