I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
