I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize