is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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