But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
