Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
