This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm too high and old for this...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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